We appreciate the single life as a vocation
My Brothers and Sisters in the Lord:
This month of August, I continue my series on “a culture of vocation” within the archdiocese. At this time, I invite you to reflect with me on the single life as a true vocation, a way of holiness, a way of following the Lord Jesus, who Himself was single, completely devoted to the Father, and available for the needs of all.
When I visit parishes of the archdiocese, I am constantly struck by the fact that perhaps as much as half of any given congregation is probably single. There are many reasons that a person might be single: Some are not yet married simply because they are not ready for that commitment; others are single due to the loss of a spouse or because of divorce or separation. Some stay single to care for their parents and/or a sibling with special needs, and some are single by a very conscious, free choice.
It is hard to exactly define what it means for a person to be “single,” but from our perspective in the Church, I am referring to all those who have not taken marital vows or made commitments as a priest or religious and find themselves in the single state of life. As such, they have made a decision to accept their life circumstances and make them a vocation or a way of holiness. An important part of the vocation of a single person is a commitment to be chaste in one’s lifestyle and the opportunities and freedom that come with being unattached and not having other responsibilities.
The Scriptures have little to say explicitly about the single life as a particular calling or vocation in life. St. Paul probably comes closest when he writes about the rich potential present in the single life in I Corinthians Chapter 7. He speaks about his own experience of being single — presumably by his choice and desire to be an evangelist. In any event, reflecting on the shortness of time that we have in this world, he suggests that the unmarried person can be freer and more available to consider the things of God (see verses 29-35).
In the centuries from St. Paul until now, countless individuals have felt a call to the single state of life or who, because of life circumstances, have ended up being single. In today’s culture, living as a single Christian is not necessarily easy; most aspects of our society are oriented to couples and families. A single person can sometimes feel like an outsider. And yet, we all know single people who use their life circumstances as an opportunity to be of service with the Church or the wider civic community. Many people choose to remain single because they want to devote more time and energy to their particular profession or particular causes. Certainly, this is most commendable and it is important for us to recognize the sacrifice they are making by the gift of their very life.
When we think about single life, it is helpful to remember that ultimately, every person — married or not — is alone in this world. Our heart and our soul have a certain quality of emptiness or incompleteness that no one can ever completely fill, for our true home is not here. We are pilgrims on a journey to another world. As Jesus taught, those in the single state remind us that, in the life to come, all our relationships will take on a new meaning and perspective; they will pale by comparison to the all-encompassing power of God’s unconditional love.
Single people have much to offer to the Church and to our society, and we, for our part, need to be conscious of how we can offer them support and encouragement in their particular life circumstances. It is important in our parishes to make reference to people in the single life and to be conscious of their particular gifts and needs, especially as we set up parish programs and plan for parish socials, etc.
As I mentioned above, there are countless reasons why a person might be single. Many people are single because of particular circumstances but would be very happy to be married at some future date. Others are indeed following what they believe to be a specific call from God. I think of one woman in particular — now around 90 years old — who told me that she had felt from her earliest childhood that God was inviting her to a life of special simplicity and focus on Him and so she never had any intention of pursing marriage and has quietly and peacefully lived as a single woman, using her gifts and talents for the Church and the civic community in a variety of ways. She is a good example of approaching the single life as a true vocation. I am sure there are countless examples of such people in every one of our parishes.
An example featured along with this month’s prayer theme is an Italian young man who is known as patron of youth and, specifically, of singles — Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati (1901-1925). He was well known for his interest in every aspect of life — from politics to sports, to academic pursuits and things of the Spirit. He studied mineralogy in Turin and felt that God was inviting him to “serve Christ among the miners.” He also became active in many young Christian organizations popular in Italy at that time. At the age of 24, he was afflicted with polio and died shortly thereafter; as he was dying, he asked his family to see that the money he had collected during his life would be shared with the poor. Our late Holy Father, Pope John Paul II, at the time of Pier’s beatification in 1990 said that he truly exemplified all eight of the Beatitudes. He is a wonderful example of sharing the Lord’s presence in and through the ordinary circumstances of life.
Each month as I have been reflecting on the various states of life, I have also tried to emphasize their link with the Holy Eucharist. Certainly, the single life has a special bond or connection with the Holy Eucharist: single people present among us in the Eucharistic assembly each week represent a visible reminder of the way God calls us beyond the ordinary connections of family to a deeper bond of faith. As we celebrate our baptismal priesthood and share in Christ’s sacrifice of love for us, our communion is deepened with Him and with all those who believe in Him. In that communion, no one is ever lost or forgotten; each one has something to give and something to receive.
This month of August, and indeed in the months ahead, I ask that all of us be more conscious of the true vocation, mission, and dignity of the single life within the Church today. Where would our families and our Church be without many of the wonderful single people who have been role models, guides, and inspirations to us all?
Sincerely yours in the Lord,
†Adam Cardinal Maida
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