Married couples should 'work to carry their spouse's soul safely into the arms of God'
Joe Skoney, Special to The Michigan Catholic
Published January 5, 2007
Vocations Supplement
"Every married couple should promise each other that they will work to carry their spouse's soul safely into the arms of God" say Joe and Mary Lou Skoney, married for 21 years. | Often when one thinks about vocations, their minds turn to the priesthood and religious life. Many forget that married life is also a sacramental calling instituted by God.
The catechism of the Catholic Church states, "The vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator" (cc 1603).
At a recent meeting my wife and I attended led by Fr. James Bilot, director of vocations to the archdiocese of Detroit, he posed this question to the audience: "What is Steve Yzerman's vocation?" Many in the audience said, "Center for the Detroit Red Wings," This actually is his occupation. His vocation, Fr. Bilot explained, is being a good husband and father.
Like his commitment to hard work and dedication in practice in his occupation, he and likewise, all married people, should be dedicated to their same commitment in their vocation or calling. Whether you are a priest, religious, single or married person, we are all called to know God, love God, serve God and be with him forever.
My loving wife of 21 years, Mary Lou, and I both grew up in the east side of Detroit. We were both cradle Catholics, educated in public schools, and came from middle-class homes. From very early on in our relationship, God became the center of our life. When we met, I was attending medical school at Wayne State University. Due to my studies, date night consisted of going to church for Saturday afternoon Mass and going to dinner at a Coney Island afterward. Mary Lou's dad loved me because I usually had her home by 10 p.m., as I had to go back home to study.
Through the months we were dating, I believe God was giving us signs that it was our vocation to be married to each other. For example, during one of our first dates at a friend's wedding, I caught the garter and Mary Lou caught the bouquet. Also, where in the past our parents remained neutral or gave negative input about the people we were seeing, we were hearing encouraging and positive comments about our relationship. More importantly, were the inner feelings we had for each other and what we felt when we were together: we were at home... complete.
What does it mean to be a married couple dedicated to God? Every married couple should promise each other that they will work to carry their spouse's soul safely into the arms of God. As Pope John Paul II said, "The greater the feeling of responsibility you have for your beloved, and more true love there is." We believe that prayer is the cornerstone to a married life dedicated to God.
Statistics show, unfortunately, that more than 50 percent of marriages today end in divorce, where as only 2 percent of marriages whose couples pray together end in divorce. Staying close to the sacraments — Holy Eucharist, reconciliation — is exceedingly vital. As a married couple, we are also called to give our time, talent and treasure to the Church.
As members of St. Hugo of the Hills Parish in Bloomfield Hills, under the guidance of Msgr. Anthony Tocco, we try to see ourselves as God's visible presence on earth by being active in the various Parish activities including sacristan, Eucharistic minister, church fundraisers and vocation committees.
As a married couple, we like the philosophy of St. Francis of Assisi: God, let me be an instrument of your peace. By trusting in God, and allowing God to do his will through us, we have come to experience the happiness and joy that we have done something positive for our family, neighbors, patients and religious community. We admire Bl. Teresa of Calcutta, as she was able to see Jesus in everyone. We believe that God provides us with opportunities, every day, whether it be the good things or the perceived bad things that happen, that allow us to experience Jesus' work in our lives.
Probably the biggest area we encounter Jesus Christ in our lives is through our children. Being able to educate our children and to provide good role models on the teachings of Jesus Christ is probably the most important thing we could do as a married couple.
Their two children, Drew and Mariah, are in eigth and sixth grade at St. Hugo of the Hills School in Bloomfield Hills. Joe and Mary Lou Skoney live in Troy.
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